A Guide to Successful Co-Parenting for Divorced Parents

Family law always starts with the presumption that it is in a child’s best interest to spend time with both parents, but in the fallout of a legal separation, animosity and upset make it difficult for parents to make this happen. With this in mind, here are our top five tips for successful co-parenting as a newly separated parent.



1. Clear & Consistent Communication

Don’t rely on your children to act as a messenger between you and your ex-partner; if you’re struggling to speak to them directly without it turning into an argument, use other forms of communication such as text and email.

A big part of effective communication is ensuring that what you say is received the way that you intended it to be. If your ex says something that you disagree with, take the time to cool off before replying, and try to only deal with one issue per text or email conversation so that things don’t get complicated and lead to more arguments.

Although messaging is a good starting point, try to remember that, for the sake of your child, it’ll be much easier if one day you and your ex can manage to be in the same room together without falling out, so try working up to communicating in person after some time has passed.

2. Have Realistic Expectations

Don’t expect your ex-partner to necessarily stick to the same rules you employ when the kids are with you. Agreeing on some core values is important, but try not to let it bother you if the children have a different bedtime when they spend time with their other parents. Remember that your rules only apply to your home, and it can be unrealistic to expect your ex-partner to enforce them to a T.

3. Be Respectful

It can be hard when tensions are still high between you and your ex-partner, but it’s in everyone’s best interest if you can try to treat each other with respect. Think of the arrangements you make like appointments: you wouldn’t turn up late to or cancel an appointment last minute, so let the same logic apply when it comes to picking up and dropping off the kids.

4. Be Willing to Compromise

After a divorce, many parents try to find a custody arrangement that grants them equal access to their children. However, a 50/50 split isn’t necessarily always going to work out best for your kids. For example, if your ex-partner always took them swimming on the weekend, it makes sense to work that into your arranged schedule, even if it means giving up a bit of your time with them.

5. Put Your Kids First

Although you should take their wishes into consideration, you should never ask your children to choose between parents. If you have more than one child, imagine how you would feel if they asked you to choose between them. It can be extremely difficult if there’s animosity between you and your ex-partner to want your kids to “take your side”, but it’s crucial that you refrain from venting your frustrations in front of them.

Looking For a Compassionate Family Law Solicitor?

It can be a tough decision choosing a solicitor in family law; Stafford-based Mark Redler Solicitors, however, is a highly experienced firm that can offer you excellent impartial advice that puts your best interests at heart. Contact us for more information.